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Workplace exhaustion -

If you have ever worked with a narcissist, you’ll know just how tricky it can be. Narcissistic colleagues are almost always exhausting and frustrating.

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Things to look for -

Learning to deal with a narcissistic colleague can be difficult, but there are things you can do to make your life easier. Let’s start by looking at some of the telltale signs.

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Stealing credit -

Narcissists are often the first people to take credit when something goes well. They will assume full responsibility for a successful project, and ignore all contributions from others.

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Shifting blame -

On the flip side, narcissists are normally reluctant to accept responsibility when something goes wrong. They will do everything in their power to shift blame and avoid accountability.

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Demanding attention -

Another common trait of narcissists is that they relentlessly demand attention. It’s not beyond them to make a scene in an effort to draw attention to themselves.

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Gossiping -

They also have a tendency to gossip. Narcissistic people are often the first to spread rumors about others, particularly if they feel jealous or threatened.

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Reacting negatively to constructive feedback -

Narcissists tend to react very poorly to constructive feedback. It is very difficult for a narcissist to hear they are not perfect, and often this prompts a defensive, or even angry, response.

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Charming others -

For all their negative qualities, narcissistic people often present as very charming and charismatic. They are often liked by people who don’t work closely with them, since they make a great first impression.

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Being above the law -

Another trademark of narcissistic people is that they think they are above the rules. They are not afraid to make unethical decisions themselves, but they hold all other colleagues to a different standard.

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Passive aggression -

Narcissists are often masters of passive aggression. They are fond of using gaslighting techniques as a way to justify their behavior.

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Seeking reassurance -

While some narcissists present as superior and grandiose, others may present as covert and vulnerable. They may seek constant reassurance throughout the working day.

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Interrupting others -

Narcissists tend to be very self-centered, and they normally prioritize their own thoughts and needs above others’. As a result, they have a tendency to interrupt or ignore others.

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Jealousy -

Although narcissistic people usually come across as arrogant, in reality they are normally very insecure. They are often jealous at the very idea of someone else’s success.

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Unrealistic expectations -

Last but not least, narcissists are never satisfied. A narcissistic colleague will often have unrealistic expectations that cannot be met, no matter how hard you work.

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The caveat -

Of course, not all narcissists will display all these qualities. Equally, just because someone displays a few of these characteristics that doesn't mean they are necessarily a narcissist.

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Daily reality -

The reality is, however, that in combination these qualities can be very difficult to deal with on a day-to-day basis. Let’s take a look at some tips for how to cope.

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Stay calm -

The first, and arguably most important, piece of advice is to try and stay calm. Losing your temper with a narcissist will generally fuel their behavior, since they’ll be encouraged by knowing they have the power to upset you.

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Stay calm -

Instead of yelling or flying off the handle, take a few moments to steady yourself before reacting to the situation. Show that you are in control of your emotions, no matter how out of control they become.

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Set boundaries -

It is also important to set clear boundaries when you are working with a narcissist. Establishing healthy boundaries will limit the effect a narcissist can have on you.

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Set boundaries -

An example of setting a boundary might be limiting the amount of time each person gets to speak during a given meeting.

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Enforce those boundaries -

Be aware of the fact that you may need to follow through with consequences when your boundaries are violated. After all, narcissists think they are above the rules.

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Enforce those boundaries -

Use sentences like, “I told you I wasn't going to discuss this issue again today so I'm ending the conversation now,” to help enforce your limits.

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Focus on the facts -

When talking to a narcissist about something difficult, it is best to focus on facts rather than feelings. You will never get them to change their behavior by explaining it upsets you.

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Focus on the facts -

Instead of focusing on your feelings or your interpretation of the situation, stick to the cold, hard facts. This will help keep the conversation less emotionally charged.

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Acceptance -

There comes a time when working with a narcissist that you’ll have to learn to accept their behavior. After all, they are never going to change their ways based on your feedback.

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Acceptance -

It is best to simply accept that your narcissistic colleague will brag a lot of the time, and use others to get ahead. If you expect these behaviors from your colleague, you’ll find they are less distressing.

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Address abusive behavior -

That said, abusive behavior in the office should always be addressed, whether it comes from a narcissist or not. If someone is being bullied, you should always take action.

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Address abusive behavior -

Your role in the company will determine the best course of action in the event of abusive behavior. You may need to notify HR or your team lead about what is going on.

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The silver lining -

Dealing with a narcissistic colleague can be very frustrating, but there are a handful of upsides, too. Narcissists are often hard workers who aren’t afraid to take risks!

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The takeaway -

So if you find yourself in the position of having to deal with a narcissist at work, take a deep breath and put some of these techniques into practice.

Sources: (Choosing Therapy) (Insider)

See also: The best ways to show your work team you appreciate them

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