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Inconsistency with rules -

One thing that kids as young as pre-school age pick up on is inconsistency with rules. They can tell when rules are being applied unfairly, and they notice when adults say one thing and then do another.

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Feeling safe -

Unfortunately, inconsistency around rules and the way that they are applied can make it difficult for kids to feel safe. It can also make it difficult for kids to feel confident placing trust in their parents.

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Clear rules -

In order to properly nurture children's emotional development, experts advise communicating clear rules with consistent consequences.

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Changes in routine -

Kids of all ages thrive on routine. Studies show that routines are important for children's development. Even very young children tend to notice small changes to their daily schedules.

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Symbolic significance -

In addition to their symbolic significance, daily routines can also serve a practical purpose, such as showing kids the importance of doing chores.

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Maintaining a routine -

Setting and maintaining a routine for your children doesn't need to be complicated. It can be as simple as reading a book before bedtime or listening to music during breakfast.

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Tension between parents -

Kids are very perceptive and can pick up on the slightest tension between their parents. They pay attention to small shifts in communication, as well as their parents' body language.

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Conflict -

Unfortunately, conflict between adults in the home can create a tense atmosphere, which can cause kids to feel confused or emotionally unsafe.

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Reassuring children -

In the event of a conflict between adults, children should be reassured that just because parents sometimes argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other.

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Parents who are distracted -

According to one study, 32% of children between the ages of eight and 13 reported feeling "unimportant" when their parents were on their phones during family time.

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Being a present parent -

Unfortunately, between holding down a job and looking after the home, being a present parent requires a level of effort that it is not always possible to give.

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Unrealistic expectations -

Of course, it is unrealistic to expect parents to never be distracted. However, parents might find that reducing distractions, even by a small amount, can go a long way.

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Acts of kindness -

Kids also tend to recognize acts of kindness, often more than adults. Indeed, every day kids are watching their parents and often mirroring their behavior.

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Internalizing kindness -

When children witness their parents helping an elderly neighbor or offering to do a favor for a friend, they internalize that kindness and use it to form their world view.

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Everyday actions - Exposing children to kindness through everyday actions can help teach them empathy and compassion, both for themselves and for others.

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Displays of affection -

Kids notice when their parents show affection to one another. It is by witnessing these actions that they learn what love looks like and how to express it.

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Embarrassing... -

Even if they do decide from time to time that seeing their parents kiss is embarrassing and complain that it "grosses them out..."

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Physical affection -

Being physically affectionate toward children is important. Small gestures, such as hugs or holding hands, can have a big impact on a child.

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Quality time -

In the same way that kids notice when their parents are distracted, they also notice when their parents are fully present and ready to spend time with them.

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Spending time together -

With all the pressures of daily life, it can be difficult to carve out time to spend together among just family. Bear in mind, however, that even fleeting family time is better than none.

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Checking in -

Small acts such as checking in with kids on the way home from school will not go unnoticed and can help parents and their children feel more connected.

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Encouraging words and actions -

Kids closely observe the way in which their parents show up for the people in their lives, whether it be other family members, friends, colleagues, or neighbors.

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Empathy -

When children observe adults offering encouraging words, kids learn to be empathetic. Conversely, negative words and put-downs may teach them to be dismissive.

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Learned skill -

Of course, nobody is perfect. However, it is worth bearing in mind that empathy is a learned skill, and that kids learn it by observing the adults in their lives interacting with others.

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Celebrating little wins -

Kids tend to notice when their parents acknowledge their small achievements. Of course, it is standard practice to celebrate the big things, like learning to walk.

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Congratulating them -

Celebrating the smaller wins as children get older, however, is just as important. Exploring opportunities, such as congratulating them when they tidy up after themselves, serves as a useful  example.

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Building self-esteem -

Certain tasks can be harder for certain children, so acknowledging when they manage to complete certain tasks helps build their self-esteem and confidence.

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How parents handle stress -

Last but not least, kids are very in tune with how their parents handle stress. As we know, being emotionally regulated is one of the biggest challenges parents face.

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Mirroring behavior - Of course, it is inevitable that kids will be exposed to stress at some point during their lives. Their way of dealing with stress will often mirror what they observe in their parents' behavior.

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Being upfront -

In general, it is best for parents to be upfront about their feelings and allow their children to do the same. Sit with your children as they express how they feel and learn to regulate their emotions themselves.

Sources: (YourTango) (HuffPost)

See also: Things your parents were totally right about

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