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Why do people ghost? -

The rising number of people being ghosted needs to be considered in the context of the digital age. Indeed, with the dawn of dating apps, people have simultaneously become more uncomfortable dealing with difficult emotions, and have become less accountable to people they've never met in person.

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Efficiency -

In some cases, people choose to ghost because it is the easiest way to end contact with a person who is just one on a list of many.

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To avoid conflict - In other cases, people end up ghosting others because they are reluctant to deal with the conflict that can arise as the result of an honest, personal rejection.

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How it feels -

Regardless of the reasons for doing it, ghosting can be very distressing for the victim. It can cause feelings of sadness, loss, and confusion.

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Reasons are helpful -

Indeed, in the event of being rejected, lots of people find it helpful to receive an explicit reason for why the other person does not want to pursue the relationship.

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Generally unacceptable -

With ghosting, there is no such explanation on offer, and people often struggle to find closure. It is for this reason that ghosting is generally considered a no-go.

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Exceptions to the rule - That said, there are exceptions to this rule, and many people, including psychologists, believe that there are certain situations in which ghosting is acceptable.

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You've never met in person -

The first situation in which ghosting may be acceptable is when you have only ever met the other person online. Of course, this depends on the specific situation, but, in general, we owe less to people who we've never met in person.

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You've never met in person -

This is particularly true if not much time and effort has been invested, or if things start to get weird between you and the person you've been chatting with.

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The first date is a disaster -

The next situation in which it may well be acceptable to ghost someone is if the first date or in-person meetup is a complete disaster.

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The first date is a disaster -

Now, this is not about a lack of connection or feelings of awkwardness. If that is what you are feeling, a simple follow-up message is most appropriate.

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The first date is a disaster - However, if there is an argument, aggressive behavior, or any clear signs that one person finds offensive, it is generally considered acceptable to move on without a word.

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Their behavior becomes creepy -

Another situation in which it is okay to cut off contact with someone without warning is if their behavior becomes creepy or inappropriate.

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Their behavior becomes creepy -

Unfortunately, many of us have been in a situation where we meet someone and things are great initially, but they quickly start to become weird.

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Their behavior becomes creepy -

If someone you have been talking to starts showing up in places you didn't invite them to, feel free to cut off contact with them. Your safety comes first.

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You catch them in a lie -

It is also acceptable to ghost someone who catfishes you. Unfortunately, it happens all too often that we meet up with someone and they are not who they said they were.

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You catch them in a lie -

If someone has lied about their identity, whether in full or in part, this should be considered a huge red flag and is clear justification for ghosting.

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You catch them in a lie -

You may also feel that ghosting is acceptable in the context of other lies. After all, if someone does not tell you the truth, do they really deserve an explanation for why you cut off contact?

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Your gut instinct is telling you 'no' -

This one is perhaps debatable, but some would argue that it is okay to ghost someone if, when you meet in person, you have a bad gut feeling about them.

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Your gut instinct is telling you 'no' -

Indeed, there are many situations in life where we would do well to listen more to our gut; there is a lot of value in trusting our intuition.

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Your gut instinct is telling you 'no' -

In this scenario, you may feel it is more appropriate to send a short message to the other person, ending contact. However, if you feel that would be risky or unsafe, it's not a must.

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They exhibit your biggest deal-breaker -

Research shows that when it comes to choosing a romantic partner, we all have so-called deal-breakers. These are character traits that we just wouldn't accept in our partner.

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They exhibit your biggest deal-breaker -

According to one study from 2023, the most common deal-breakers are apathy, grossness, clinginess, and addiction.

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They exhibit your biggest deal-breaker -

If you are familiar with your biggest deal-breaker and spot early signs of it in the person, this can be reason enough to suddenly cut contact.

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You don't know where you stand -

Lastly, most people would say that it's acceptable to ghost another person if their behavior leaves you feeling completely unclear about where you stand.

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You don't know where you stand -

For example, if someone refuses to answer, or is vague when answering basic questions like whether they are in another relationship, this is reason enough for ghosting.

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You don't know where you stand -

You should never feel guilty about cutting off contact with someone who refuses to enter into simple conversations or establish basic facts.

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Final thoughts -

So there you have it, a few scenarios in which it is okay to ghost. Remember, these scenarios are the exception to the rule. In the vast majority of cases, the respectful thing to do is to offer the other person a short explanation for why you don't want to pursue the relationship. 

Sources: (CNN) (YourTango)

See also: Ghosted? The reasons why each zodiac sign does it

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