The most hilarious Chuck Norris jokes of all time
- Chuck Norris is an American actor, martial artist, and internet legend. His unbeatable toughness has been immortalized by a series of jokes and memes that never fail to get a laugh. If someone tells a Chuck Norris joke in the woods and he's not around to hear it, will that person still die at his hands? Of course. Chuck Norris hears everything. In celebration of his long career and superhuman fighting skills, here is a list of the top 40 Chuck Norris jokes that will give you a roundhouse kick to the stomach.
© NL Beeld
0 / 40 Fotos
On time
- Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
© Getty Images
1 / 40 Fotos
On grenades
- Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. And then the grenade exploded.
© Getty Images
2 / 40 Fotos
On walls
- The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
© Getty Images
3 / 40 Fotos
On being cold
- Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
© Getty Images
4 / 40 Fotos
On weapons
- Guns carry Chuck Norris for protection.
© Getty Images
5 / 40 Fotos
On phone calls
- Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number, you answer the wrong phone.
© Getty Images
6 / 40 Fotos
On germs
- Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9% of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of whatever he wants.
© Getty Images
7 / 40 Fotos
On Climate Change
- There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
© Getty Images
8 / 40 Fotos
On time travel
- If, by some paradox in the space/time continuum, Chuck Norris were ever to fight himself, he'd win.
© Getty Images
9 / 40 Fotos
On energy drinks
- Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage—it's called Red Bull.
© Getty Images
10 / 40 Fotos
On exercise
- When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
© Getty Images
11 / 40 Fotos
On facial hair
- There is no chin behind Chuck Norris's beard. There is only another fist.
© Getty Images
12 / 40 Fotos
On extinction
- Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris. Once.
© Getty Images
13 / 40 Fotos
On breakfast
- Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with is teeth, and boils his water with his rage.
© Getty Images
14 / 40 Fotos
On Where's Waldo
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
© Getty Images
15 / 40 Fotos
On dying
- Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him.
© Bruno Press
16 / 40 Fotos
On the Internet
- Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because he will never submit.
© Bruno Press
17 / 40 Fotos
On sleep
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
© NL Beeld
18 / 40 Fotos
On gambling
- Chuck Norris played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun. And won.
© Getty Images
19 / 40 Fotos
On margarine
- Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
© Getty Images
20 / 40 Fotos
On evolution
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
© Getty Images
21 / 40 Fotos
On Mars
- Chuck Norris has been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life.
© Getty Images
22 / 40 Fotos
On birth
- When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor.
© Getty Images
23 / 40 Fotos
On doors
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
© Getty Images
24 / 40 Fotos
On fire
- Chuck Norris can make a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
© Getty Images
25 / 40 Fotos
On space
- Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
© Getty Images
26 / 40 Fotos
On television
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
© Getty Images
27 / 40 Fotos
On pajamas
- Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
© Getty Images
28 / 40 Fotos
On fears
- Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.
© Getty Images
29 / 40 Fotos
On religion
- Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
© Getty Images
30 / 40 Fotos
On interior design
- Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, it's just afraid to move.
© Getty Images
31 / 40 Fotos
On camping
- Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
© Getty Images
32 / 40 Fotos
On bicycle tricks
- Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
© Getty Images
33 / 40 Fotos
On geography
- There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
© NL Beeld
34 / 40 Fotos
On crying
- Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. He has never cried.
© Getty Images
35 / 40 Fotos
On perspiration
- Chuck Norris sweats justice.
© Getty Images
36 / 40 Fotos
On numbers
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity—twice.
© Getty Images
37 / 40 Fotos
On email
- Chuck Norris's email: [email protected]
© Getty Images
38 / 40 Fotos
On poker
- Chuck Norris's hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush. See also: Chuck Norris isn't dead...or is he?
© Getty Images
39 / 40 Fotos
The most hilarious Chuck Norris jokes of all time
- Chuck Norris is an American actor, martial artist, and internet legend. His unbeatable toughness has been immortalized by a series of jokes and memes that never fail to get a laugh. If someone tells a Chuck Norris joke in the woods and he's not around to hear it, will that person still die at his hands? Of course. Chuck Norris hears everything. In celebration of his long career and superhuman fighting skills, here is a list of the top 40 Chuck Norris jokes that will give you a roundhouse kick to the stomach.
© NL Beeld
0 / 40 Fotos
On time
- Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
© Getty Images
1 / 40 Fotos
On grenades
- Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. And then the grenade exploded.
© Getty Images
2 / 40 Fotos
On walls
- The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
© Getty Images
3 / 40 Fotos
On being cold
- Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
© Getty Images
4 / 40 Fotos
On weapons
- Guns carry Chuck Norris for protection.
© Getty Images
5 / 40 Fotos
On phone calls
- Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number, you answer the wrong phone.
© Getty Images
6 / 40 Fotos
On germs
- Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9% of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of whatever he wants.
© Getty Images
7 / 40 Fotos
On Climate Change
- There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
© Getty Images
8 / 40 Fotos
On time travel
- If, by some paradox in the space/time continuum, Chuck Norris were ever to fight himself, he'd win.
© Getty Images
9 / 40 Fotos
On energy drinks
- Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage—it's called Red Bull.
© Getty Images
10 / 40 Fotos
On exercise
- When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
© Getty Images
11 / 40 Fotos
On facial hair
- There is no chin behind Chuck Norris's beard. There is only another fist.
© Getty Images
12 / 40 Fotos
On extinction
- Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris. Once.
© Getty Images
13 / 40 Fotos
On breakfast
- Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with is teeth, and boils his water with his rage.
© Getty Images
14 / 40 Fotos
On Where's Waldo
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
© Getty Images
15 / 40 Fotos
On dying
- Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him.
© Bruno Press
16 / 40 Fotos
On the Internet
- Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because he will never submit.
© Bruno Press
17 / 40 Fotos
On sleep
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
© NL Beeld
18 / 40 Fotos
On gambling
- Chuck Norris played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun. And won.
© Getty Images
19 / 40 Fotos
On margarine
- Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
© Getty Images
20 / 40 Fotos
On evolution
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
© Getty Images
21 / 40 Fotos
On Mars
- Chuck Norris has been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life.
© Getty Images
22 / 40 Fotos
On birth
- When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor.
© Getty Images
23 / 40 Fotos
On doors
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
© Getty Images
24 / 40 Fotos
On fire
- Chuck Norris can make a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
© Getty Images
25 / 40 Fotos
On space
- Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
© Getty Images
26 / 40 Fotos
On television
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
© Getty Images
27 / 40 Fotos
On pajamas
- Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
© Getty Images
28 / 40 Fotos
On fears
- Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.
© Getty Images
29 / 40 Fotos
On religion
- Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
© Getty Images
30 / 40 Fotos
On interior design
- Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, it's just afraid to move.
© Getty Images
31 / 40 Fotos
On camping
- Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
© Getty Images
32 / 40 Fotos
On bicycle tricks
- Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
© Getty Images
33 / 40 Fotos
On geography
- There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
© NL Beeld
34 / 40 Fotos
On crying
- Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. He has never cried.
© Getty Images
35 / 40 Fotos
On perspiration
- Chuck Norris sweats justice.
© Getty Images
36 / 40 Fotos
On numbers
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity—twice.
© Getty Images
37 / 40 Fotos
On email
- Chuck Norris's email: [email protected]
© Getty Images
38 / 40 Fotos
On poker
- Chuck Norris's hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush. See also: Chuck Norris isn't dead...or is he?
© Getty Images
39 / 40 Fotos
The most hilarious Chuck Norris jokes of all time
© NL Beeld
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