![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_66052f5a80e6a.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524d39c47c.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524d6c0a3c.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524d04d41f.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524d69ed1c.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524d47af6e.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524d0b6ff9.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524d62bcd7.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524d5e9e3a.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524d903477.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524dd9caea.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524dcb1077.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524dfa6a86.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524decdf57.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524de8194f.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524df3d8c9.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524e21a1dc.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524e32cf7b.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524e54a35d.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524e4a6b10.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524e8c7501.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524e69b6e1.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524e712f4d.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524e9a017b.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524ebe8365.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524e9c1809.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524ec1ccac.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524eb5a96c.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524efe87b1.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524f1ab7e8.jpg)
![How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/gallery/1080/na_611524f4890f5.jpg)
See Also
See Again
© Shutterstock
0 / 31 Fotos
Identifying the behavior
- The first step to take in dealing with the behavior of a passive-aggressive friend, colleague, or relative is to identify their behavior as passive aggressive.
© Shutterstock
1 / 31 Fotos
Identifying the behavior
- Passive-aggressive people are often very subtle with their behavior and all too often you can find yourself feeling down when around them without even knowing why.
© Shutterstock
2 / 31 Fotos
What to look for
- Thankfully, there are some things to look out for, such as complaining. Of course everyone is entitled to a whine once in a while, but constant complaining is a symptom of passive aggression.
© Shutterstock
3 / 31 Fotos
Complaining
- If you find yourself around someone who is constantly bemoaning the fact that they are worse off than other people, it’s likely that you’re dealing with passive aggression.
© Shutterstock
4 / 31 Fotos
Inconsistent behavior
- Listen for complaining, and watch for inconsistent behavior. Passive-aggressive people have a tendency to say one thing and then do another.
© Shutterstock
5 / 31 Fotos
Inconsistent behavior
- Beware of friends or relatives who agree with you in person to take a certain course of action, and then go behind your back and do something completely different.
© Shutterstock
6 / 31 Fotos
Negative reactions
- Watch out for people who respond negatively to positive developments in the lives of others. Passive-aggressive people often have a problem with other people’s success.
© Shutterstock
7 / 31 Fotos
Negative reactions
- If you know someone who constantly feigns disinterest or even criticizes you when something goes well for you, it is likely they have a passive-aggressive character.
© Shutterstock
8 / 31 Fotos
Inability to praise
- In a similar vein, a common trait of passive-aggressive people is the inability to praise or give positive feedback. It stems from resentment, which is one of the founding fathers of passive aggression.
© Shutterstock
9 / 31 Fotos
Inability to praise
- If you have a friend, relative, or colleague who refuses to praise you come rain or shine, that person probably struggles with passive aggression.
© Shutterstock
10 / 31 Fotos
Chatting back
- Finally, a common behavior of passive-aggressive people is to give a lot of backchat and constantly disagree with the things other people say.
© Shutterstock
11 / 31 Fotos
Chatting back
- Passive-aggressive people tend to respond to other people’s problems in a way that suggests they know better or they have it worse in some way or another.
© Shutterstock
12 / 31 Fotos
Pay close attention
- Now time for some tips on how to deal with passive-aggressive behavior. The first is to pay close attention to when and how it occurs, particularly in a new relationship or friendship.
© Shutterstock
13 / 31 Fotos
Pay close attention
- It is all too easy to brush off passive-aggressive behavior, particularly when exhibited by someone you love or admire, but as soon as it becomes troublesome you should start to take note.
© Shutterstock
14 / 31 Fotos
Call out the behavior
- A great way to handle passive aggressive behavior is to be upfront about it. Call out a person behaving in this way, although perhaps focus on one specific behavior at a time.
© Shutterstock
15 / 31 Fotos
Call out the behavior
- If you struggle finding the confidence to confront people about their behavior, remember the words of TedEx speaker Vijayraj Kamat: “There are no passive-aggressive people. There is passive-aggressive behavior. So passive-aggressive people are not bad. Passive-aggressive behavior causes some undesirable consequences.”
© Shutterstock
16 / 31 Fotos
Stay present
- It is important when handling passive aggression to focus on the particular behavior at hand. Try not to dredge up past instances of the same behavior, as this will not help.
© Shutterstock
17 / 31 Fotos
Stay present
- For example, if someone gives you a backhanded compliment, explain why you find it hurtful rather than jumping down the person’s throat for criticizing you all the time.
© Shutterstock
18 / 31 Fotos
Be open to communication
- People who struggle with passive aggression are communication-averse. A great way to deal with them is to have an aggressively open policy to communication with others.
© Shutterstock
19 / 31 Fotos
Be open to communication
- Human behavior expert Melody Wilding offers the following advice: "Influence positive change [by] welcoming feedback and dialogue ... Encouraging two-way communication helps head off passive-aggressive patterns before they start.”
© Shutterstock
20 / 31 Fotos
Check your own behavior
- You might want to spend some time checking your own behavior for passive-aggressive traits. After all, none of us are immune to developing them at some point.
© Shutterstock
21 / 31 Fotos
Check your own behavior
- If you do determine that you have a tendency to behave in a passive-aggressive way, start by dissecting why you are upset and allow yourself to work towards change.
© Shutterstock
22 / 31 Fotos
Remove yourself
- While you may wish to be there for a passive-aggressive person, particularly if they are a close friend or relative, sometimes the only thing to do is to shut the relationship down.
© Shutterstock
23 / 31 Fotos
Remove yourself
- For the sake of your mental health, it is important to recognize that when someone is constantly working to put you down or cause problems in your life, that relationship is toxic.
© Shutterstock
24 / 31 Fotos
Avoid power struggles
- When dealing with a passive-aggressive person, it is very important not to enter into a power struggle. In all likelihood, they will win and you’ll be left feeling very frustrated.
© Shutterstock
25 / 31 Fotos
Avoid power struggles
- Rather than starting an argument with someone who is acting passive aggressively, psychologist Signe Whitson recommends using "appropriate words while also sending a clear, unstated message.”
© Shutterstock
26 / 31 Fotos
Suggest confrontation
- All too often, passive-aggressive people do not realize why they feel the anger and resentment that they do. Sometimes it is helpful to suggest that the person reflect on this and confront any unresolved feelings.
© Shutterstock
27 / 31 Fotos
Suggest confrontation
- As Benedict Carey wrote in The New York Times, "In some cases, psychologists say, people unable to recognize or express their annoyance often don't feel entitled to it; they instinctually let the 'little things' pass without taking the time to find out why they are so angry about them.”
© Shutterstock
28 / 31 Fotos
Remember it's not about you
- Finally, it’s incredibly important to remember that a person’s passive-aggressive behavior is no reflection on you or their feelings towards you.
© Shutterstock
29 / 31 Fotos
Remember it's not about you
- Passive-aggressive people can be very difficult to handle, particularly when confronted, so remembering this will help reduce your hurt and enable you to process their behavior in a healthy way. Sources: (WikiHow) (Insider)
© Shutterstock
30 / 31 Fotos
© Shutterstock
0 / 31 Fotos
Identifying the behavior
- The first step to take in dealing with the behavior of a passive-aggressive friend, colleague, or relative is to identify their behavior as passive aggressive.
© Shutterstock
1 / 31 Fotos
Identifying the behavior
- Passive-aggressive people are often very subtle with their behavior and all too often you can find yourself feeling down when around them without even knowing why.
© Shutterstock
2 / 31 Fotos
What to look for
- Thankfully, there are some things to look out for, such as complaining. Of course everyone is entitled to a whine once in a while, but constant complaining is a symptom of passive aggression.
© Shutterstock
3 / 31 Fotos
Complaining
- If you find yourself around someone who is constantly bemoaning the fact that they are worse off than other people, it’s likely that you’re dealing with passive aggression.
© Shutterstock
4 / 31 Fotos
Inconsistent behavior
- Listen for complaining, and watch for inconsistent behavior. Passive-aggressive people have a tendency to say one thing and then do another.
© Shutterstock
5 / 31 Fotos
Inconsistent behavior
- Beware of friends or relatives who agree with you in person to take a certain course of action, and then go behind your back and do something completely different.
© Shutterstock
6 / 31 Fotos
Negative reactions
- Watch out for people who respond negatively to positive developments in the lives of others. Passive-aggressive people often have a problem with other people’s success.
© Shutterstock
7 / 31 Fotos
Negative reactions
- If you know someone who constantly feigns disinterest or even criticizes you when something goes well for you, it is likely they have a passive-aggressive character.
© Shutterstock
8 / 31 Fotos
Inability to praise
- In a similar vein, a common trait of passive-aggressive people is the inability to praise or give positive feedback. It stems from resentment, which is one of the founding fathers of passive aggression.
© Shutterstock
9 / 31 Fotos
Inability to praise
- If you have a friend, relative, or colleague who refuses to praise you come rain or shine, that person probably struggles with passive aggression.
© Shutterstock
10 / 31 Fotos
Chatting back
- Finally, a common behavior of passive-aggressive people is to give a lot of backchat and constantly disagree with the things other people say.
© Shutterstock
11 / 31 Fotos
Chatting back
- Passive-aggressive people tend to respond to other people’s problems in a way that suggests they know better or they have it worse in some way or another.
© Shutterstock
12 / 31 Fotos
Pay close attention
- Now time for some tips on how to deal with passive-aggressive behavior. The first is to pay close attention to when and how it occurs, particularly in a new relationship or friendship.
© Shutterstock
13 / 31 Fotos
Pay close attention
- It is all too easy to brush off passive-aggressive behavior, particularly when exhibited by someone you love or admire, but as soon as it becomes troublesome you should start to take note.
© Shutterstock
14 / 31 Fotos
Call out the behavior
- A great way to handle passive aggressive behavior is to be upfront about it. Call out a person behaving in this way, although perhaps focus on one specific behavior at a time.
© Shutterstock
15 / 31 Fotos
Call out the behavior
- If you struggle finding the confidence to confront people about their behavior, remember the words of TedEx speaker Vijayraj Kamat: “There are no passive-aggressive people. There is passive-aggressive behavior. So passive-aggressive people are not bad. Passive-aggressive behavior causes some undesirable consequences.”
© Shutterstock
16 / 31 Fotos
Stay present
- It is important when handling passive aggression to focus on the particular behavior at hand. Try not to dredge up past instances of the same behavior, as this will not help.
© Shutterstock
17 / 31 Fotos
Stay present
- For example, if someone gives you a backhanded compliment, explain why you find it hurtful rather than jumping down the person’s throat for criticizing you all the time.
© Shutterstock
18 / 31 Fotos
Be open to communication
- People who struggle with passive aggression are communication-averse. A great way to deal with them is to have an aggressively open policy to communication with others.
© Shutterstock
19 / 31 Fotos
Be open to communication
- Human behavior expert Melody Wilding offers the following advice: "Influence positive change [by] welcoming feedback and dialogue ... Encouraging two-way communication helps head off passive-aggressive patterns before they start.”
© Shutterstock
20 / 31 Fotos
Check your own behavior
- You might want to spend some time checking your own behavior for passive-aggressive traits. After all, none of us are immune to developing them at some point.
© Shutterstock
21 / 31 Fotos
Check your own behavior
- If you do determine that you have a tendency to behave in a passive-aggressive way, start by dissecting why you are upset and allow yourself to work towards change.
© Shutterstock
22 / 31 Fotos
Remove yourself
- While you may wish to be there for a passive-aggressive person, particularly if they are a close friend or relative, sometimes the only thing to do is to shut the relationship down.
© Shutterstock
23 / 31 Fotos
Remove yourself
- For the sake of your mental health, it is important to recognize that when someone is constantly working to put you down or cause problems in your life, that relationship is toxic.
© Shutterstock
24 / 31 Fotos
Avoid power struggles
- When dealing with a passive-aggressive person, it is very important not to enter into a power struggle. In all likelihood, they will win and you’ll be left feeling very frustrated.
© Shutterstock
25 / 31 Fotos
Avoid power struggles
- Rather than starting an argument with someone who is acting passive aggressively, psychologist Signe Whitson recommends using "appropriate words while also sending a clear, unstated message.”
© Shutterstock
26 / 31 Fotos
Suggest confrontation
- All too often, passive-aggressive people do not realize why they feel the anger and resentment that they do. Sometimes it is helpful to suggest that the person reflect on this and confront any unresolved feelings.
© Shutterstock
27 / 31 Fotos
Suggest confrontation
- As Benedict Carey wrote in The New York Times, "In some cases, psychologists say, people unable to recognize or express their annoyance often don't feel entitled to it; they instinctually let the 'little things' pass without taking the time to find out why they are so angry about them.”
© Shutterstock
28 / 31 Fotos
Remember it's not about you
- Finally, it’s incredibly important to remember that a person’s passive-aggressive behavior is no reflection on you or their feelings towards you.
© Shutterstock
29 / 31 Fotos
Remember it's not about you
- Passive-aggressive people can be very difficult to handle, particularly when confronted, so remembering this will help reduce your hurt and enable you to process their behavior in a healthy way. Sources: (WikiHow) (Insider)
© Shutterstock
30 / 31 Fotos
How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior
Top tips for handling tricky situations
© Shutterstock
If you are a person in this world, you have most likely encountered passive-aggressive behavior. Although it is complex and driven by multiple factors, passive aggression is very common and many people are confronted by it on a daily basis. Unfortunately, passive-aggressive behavior is by its nature sneaky and can be difficult to detect. However, there are certain things to look out for, and there are definitely things you can do to handle someone who is behaving in this way.
Check out this gallery to learn how to deal with passive-aggressive behavior.
RECOMMENDED FOR YOU
![Unlocking your potential with a growth mindset](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_669fd8da0bfd4.jpg)
![Adorable animal friendships that will brighten your day](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_66a347b7ab21f.jpg)
![Love hurts: the ways in which heartbreak affects you physically](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_66a34533a841e.jpg)
![Outdated workplace trends to say goodbye to](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_66a241cfb6915.jpg)
![The top 30 countries with the highest salaries](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_66a1257b5af9b.jpg)
![30 animals with surprisingly human traits](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_669fc7d59e9be.jpg)
![How to tell if someone is lying, based on their zodiac sign](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_66a0bf8100fc4.jpg)
![How to keep kids safe during a heat wave](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_669fda1b16851.jpg)
![The ultimate summer skin care routine](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_66a0f721df09f.jpg)
![What is the 'brat girl summer' trend all about?](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_66a246addc9ca.jpg)
![Fascinating facts you probably didn't know about the Oval Office](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_669f79198a06a.jpg)
![What are the ancient origins of your zodiac sign?](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_669e75af237bf.jpg)
![The fascinating history of crop circles](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_66a21460c3c72.jpg)
![What toll does spaceflight take on astronauts?](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_669fa07d627e8.jpg)
![The comprehensive guide to managing and resolving credit card debt](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_669fc270d28d6.jpg)
![Age-specific tips for better sleep](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_66a216e1b5386.jpg)
![The dangers of compartmentalizing emotions](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_6697c3f7ccd57.jpg)
![Stunning nature photographs that look like paintings](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_609e6540bdb61.jpg)
![The most polluted rivers in the world](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_669a98796a53a.jpg)
![Fascinating dog facts that will change the way you look at your pup](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_664c9ce143f08.jpg)
![Countries with the highest disposable income, ranked](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_669fad641cf77.jpg)
![Get to know the "Mad Monk" who had the ear of a Russian empress](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_61cc7aa429f9a.jpg)
![Trees avoid touching? The stunning mystery of crown shyness](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_6086d0b58fd21.jpg)
![How the first letter of your name defines your character](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_66969fdb92841.jpg)
![How did dinosaurs grow so big?](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_6697d2df7ee71.jpg)
![The most notorious Olympic cheats (other than doping)](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_66a0a66010aeb.jpg)
![Mediterranean tragedy: the dangerous migration routes to Europe](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_669e61a422da8.jpg)
![Are liposomal supplements really better?](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_669a6a9b3acea.jpg)
![How to grow food in the city](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_663cb61851ff9.jpg)
![Everything you need to know about slow living](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_663b862fda57a.jpg)
![The French origins of the Swedish monarchy](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_663ba08c3840f.jpg)
![What rapid weight loss can do to the body](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_6641df4c4a90e.jpg)
![Your guide to starting a successful franchise](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_663a5255b413a.jpg)
![Seeking out the "four F's" of commonly foraged food](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_66332bd2057c7.jpg)
![A parent's guide to raising emotionally intelligent children](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_669e897d15e3e.jpg)
![How (and why) to create a personal development plan](https://media-manager.starsinsider.com/640/na_664488d8abddc.jpg)
MOST READ
- Last Hour
- Last Day
- Last Week